“I’ve lost more than I’ve ever had,
And I’ve loved more than I was ever loved
I still wonder which one is the worst.”
Introduction To the Writer
Before commencing his career in writing, Saxena has served his good skills in Le Meridien New Delhi as a hotelier. To his credit, he acclaims a debut book entitled as “Will You Stay?” under his pen and it has gained an enormous recognition among readers from twenty different countries of the world.
His genre of writing is psychoanalytic dealing purely with mental health issues. Being a graduate in hotel management from IHM Kurukshetra, he is also pursuing his master’s degree in Psychology. Being a mental health activist, grief –counsellor and motivator, he serves mentally disturbed, isolated and anxiety-prone patients, so that they can heal from the haunting wounds of their burdensome unconscious and become able to live a healthy-cum- peaceful life with the normal flow of a balanced psyche.
Moreover, his poetry and self-help work has heaped massive praises on Instagram. Saxena’s followers speak highly of his sincere efforts to assist depressed people far and wide in the world.
Abstract of the Book
This book is dedicated to all the silent sufferers who are victims of depression and are falling deeper and deeper into the unending darkness of many kinds and various types of debilitating mental disorders. In our world where taboo is still a power of normalization, people still feel insecure to open up about their anxieties, traumas, panic attacks and avoid seeking any counselling for their mental health. So, this book serves as a soft therapy manual for every sufferer because it contains stories about struggle, misery and loneliness but also about hope, belief, courage and survival.
“Life is not about looking for shelter in the storm;
Life is about dancing in the rain.
Life is about shrieking at the top of your lungs – I am the storm.”
The Storyline of the Book
The book is a phenomenology of experience-based narratives told by five different individuals who have survived their mental illness. The first narration “The love which was never mine” is a one-sided love story of “ Vaishali Rokde”.
The experience of loving a person who does not love you back is a very resented one full of guilt, heavy heartedness, blues and complete lostness. The continuous state of rejection and denial has caused depressive anxieties in Rodke’s personality but she has continued to embark her journey of life by defeating the hollowness of pessimistic thoughts about her self esteem.
“She was in love where she could not love herself.”
“How great are we to forgive the people who hurt us till death and let them in our lives again ?”
“He was someone I could not deny, even if it was about destroying me. He came like a lullaby and went away like the nightmare which would haunt me for nights to come.”
“I’ve never learnt to unlove people and I will continue to love them till death. He still comes and leaves according to his will and I still forgive him every time because I love him. Maybe this won’t end, maybe it will continue till I’m breathing. But none of us will stop, neither me loving him nor he denying me always.”
“The Evils of Depression” is the second story about “Terry Stevens Woodrow”. She has been a victim of family problems, academic pressures, friendship issues, social seclusion and marital indifference that have pinched her to the dead-end of depression and loneliness. While trying to keep up with every relation, she has barred herself from a peaceful life and ended up with heavy medication in her early teens. Despite all this, she is alive and has learned to fight with her mental anxieties.
“ She lives in an anxious body; which is never at rest.”
“ I was a ten-year-old perfectionist trying to keep the bad things at bay, even punishing myself in the process of keeping everything alright around me.”
“The goal is not a cure. The goal is to learn how to work through the problems. The goal is to live.”
“The will to go on” is the third story of an anonymous narrator who has been a silent and an introverted girl with very minute connection with other humans. Because of her quiet and loner personality, she has faced an open rejection by her husband after fourteen years of an inconvenient marriage.
Moreover, her younger child is also a victim of chronic disease for life. She has started considering that she is responsible for her tragedy and grave situation. But to her fortune, she has come out of gnawing sickness of her mental traumas and has mastered the art of moving on from every depressive state of life.
“She has a soul of traveller
A bit tired but long way from home.”
“You are worth it, this fight is worth it
The struggle is worth it
Hang in there guys, hang in there..”
Also by an anonymous narrator, the fourth story entitled as “ The Withering Life” throws light upon a disabled girl who is bullied by society at large because of her crippled state. She has always consoled the harshness of society under the wings of her mother and beloved -Arjun. But after their deaths, she has left all alone in the haunting world. Moreover, she has endured the hate and contempt of her stepmother as well. These events have badly affected her mental health. Finally, she has conquered her traumas and haunting Depression.
“I have to fight for myself and do everything it takes to survive in society that is adamant to pull me down.”
The fifth story “REJECTED: The Journey Untold” is the survival journey of “Tarandeep Kaur Bhasin”.It is a journey that has started with the word “ NO”. The bright intellectual of school, Tarandeep has been harassed by a male teacher and in raising her voice, she has to say goodbye to her academic career. Unable to cope with the rejection from her principal, she has fallen a victim of bipolar disorder. Amidst all these depressive phases, she has overcome the burden of depression on her shoulders.
“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.”
“After days of pain, we heal; like waking up from a deep sleep.”
Themes in Book:
The themes are elaborated in the thoughts of the writer throughout the book. The major themes are about Stigmatization, Depression, Anxiety, Suffering, Pain, Hopelessness, Struggling, Mental sickness, conquering of demons, Healing from disorders, regaining of self- confidence, re- owning the life and finally learning the art of moving on.
“Your mental health is far more important than school, college, office.
Take proper care of yourself first….”
Additional Facts and Concluding Review About the Book
The book contains Five stories, Five thoughts, depression statistics and dilemma of the present world on Eighty pages. All the copyrights of this ebook are reserved. It can be purchased from any ebook retailer and is published in 2020.
In my personal opinion, it is a must-read because every person in his/her life goes through depressing states and in such circumstances, counselling becomes the need of the hour. This book serves the very purpose of balancing the mental issues with the sweet delicacy of advising words from the honest sincerity of the authorial efforts.
A Book Review by Iqra Aziz