Sweet Nostalgia // Misbah Ahmad
I entered the room and all of them looked at me with excitement flooding out of their eyes. I was only a step in the class and the words flew out of their mouths: “when are we going to have our summer vacations”, “in a week” I replied and the joy, oh that sweet joy filled the room with the blissful nostalgia. All they wanted to talk about was how would they spend their summer vacations. Some wanted to go to their grandparent’s house while others were planning to have a family trip to northern areas. Some wanted to read while others were planning to learn and improve their mathematics. They were all chattering at the same time but all I could hear was the sound of the wind ready to take me out of this room back to the room where I was surrounded by my classmates and we were all bragging about our summer vacations plan. It took me back to the new paper registers, with a weird smell, we would buy at the very start of our vacations with the motivation of completing all the work in a week. That blissful wind flew me back to the days of buying 12 colors set of goldfish colors and different colored erasers. The days when everyday afternoon used to be the time to plan an ultimate escape from the house to meet the friends on the street. The days when load shedding would make everyone gather outside on the streets with their special chairs. The days of Now, Dream, Spacer, Twisto and jellybeans. The days of SimSim, Karakiyan, Jungle Pops and Uncle pops. The days when a sudden dust storm would be followed by us trying to make our plastic bags fly in the air. The days when everything was a mystery, but nothing was history.
It saddens me how we all grew up to be the ones who left our dreams behind us. We grew up to be the ones who live in history. Maybe because as we grow up, we all leave a piece of us in every year but somehow when our generation grew up, us the 90’s kids, we left our whole existence behind.
All our joys, the moments we would cherish the ideas we would enjoy they are all history now. We are becoming more and more fake every day. We find people annoying who express their true emotions. We ask people to calm down because we think they are feeling “over joyous/excited”. Maybe that’s one of the reasons we find our words/posts/comments from 2 years ago cringe worthy. And maybe that’s one of the reasons we are becoming more reserved. We are trying to tame our emotions without understanding the fact that emotions are meant to run wild. They are meant to overflow and sooth the soul. Maybe that’s why we have a broken heart and a shattered soul. And when I think of summers, I think of myself! what I lost when I grew up. When I dream of summers, I dream of retrieving my lost self my gathered soul.