I wonder if I am a Hypocrite // Misbah Ahmed
           “And the air was full of thoughts to say but at times like these only the small things are ever said big things lurks unsaid inside.”
   – Arundhati Roy
I wonder if I am a hypocrite,
For I possess all the traits,
I preach love,
I sing of strength,
With words and rhymes,
And verses of length,
But I push myself in storm,
Losing every wit or calm,
I lose the sight of thinking straight,
I wonder if I am a hypocrite,
For I possess all the traits.
I paint the brightest yellow,
The sky tone blue of mellow,
I swing the words from the dead to red,
I preach to paint the happy head,
But I hide the blacks and greys to soul,
And lure me to a clenching bait,
I wonder if I am a hypocrite,
For I possess all the traits.
To speak out loud the memories that haunt,
To cry out loud failed waters of flaunt,
I am all for this and that, that hurts,
For it frees YOU out from girt,
And I struggle to grasp the air while,
I let the darkest of memories to pile,
The guilt, the shame that I don’t deserve,
The scream, the trail I cannot swerve,
I let myself drown with the weight,
To the sink of the bed where silence awaits,
I wonder if I am a hypocrite,
For I possess all the traits.
