Hush // Fareeha Saleem
The wide curtain of dark clouds stretched a bit with my every step. My step, that was slow, powerless and lost. Lost like my mind, lost like my soul and lost like every bit of happiness that ever lived within me.
I could see each and every detail in a movie roll that played in front of my eyes as my strayed steps tried to find their way. “Which way are you walking to?” my abandoned mind questioned. And a whole block of friction stopped my moving steps, thinking and mourning they had no destination to go to.
The movie roll in front of my eyes took a turn as I could see my younger self, encaged in a room. Room filled with all the toys that I had bought years ago. Toys that had stayed with me through every thick and thin. Toys that were the last memory of my deceased parents.
My vision became blurry as some salty wave of water invaded the screen of my eyes. I didn’t want to but could see my so called caretaker uncle and aunt locking me up in the room as they went out for their fancy dinner. My trembling hands still moved towards my stomach that had starved so many times. My dried lips once again tried to smile as they always did to hide the pain.
The shutters of my eyes closed again and opened to the part of movie when I was in his house as his wife. Wife?? I barely smiled. A maid of this elderly man my uncle and aunt got me married to. The one man who left no loop to hurt my half dead breathing body. The one man from whom I had run away. Run away to the long and never ending road of trembling steps. Steps that shattered desires and murdered my wishes.
And today,after ages, I was nothing but a home of no hopes, dried tears, broken heart, deprived relations and a lost soul. A soul whose silence was loud enough to break all the chains, all the boundaries, and even all the hard layers of this planet. Only if it could be seen, could be felt and could be heard. THE LOUDEST SILENCE that came out as my demon.