Epiphany of reality, happiness and life // Eman Khalid
Epiphany of reality, happiness and life
Sara’s heart raced as her body was struck with fear. Her mother, Ayesha, clenched Sara’s cellphone in both of her hands as her lips trembled with anger and face swelled with fury. She burnt holes in Sara’s body as she glared at her.
“How long has this been going on?” She asked in a stern, yet calm voice.
“A year and a half,” Sara whispered.
“A year and a half you’ve been doing all of this right under our noses and we hadn’t even got a single clue?” She narrowed her eyes at her daughter who stood at the far corner of the room looking down at her feet with guilt.
“But what?!” Her mother screamed.
“I love him!”
“You love him? Honey do you even know what kind of a boy he is? He is not a good person!”
“Don’t say that about him!” Sara’s blood boiled with anger as tears welled up in her eyes.
“He is not worth it! What does he do?” the mother asked in a questionable tone.
“He is a good person,” Sara replied in a slow voice
“Well, being a good person doesn’t feed the belly.” She replied in a matter of fact tone.
“How could you judge someone based on how much money he has?” Sara cried.
“It’s not about the money Sara! I know this guy. He lives on the sixth street with his family. Trust me, he is not a good person. And you are too young for all of this. You are still a minor, so please focus on your studies. Make your future bright. When you go to university you’ll meet a lot of good boys there. Leave him. Adil is his name, right?”
“Yes. That is his name. But he is a good person and I don’t want anyone else but him!” By now, Sara wept profoundly.
Her mother’s heart ached for the broken and naive little girl that stood in front of her. She wished that she could show her little girl the truth about the person she trusted the most. She wished her daughter wouldn’t ever have to taste the bitterness of betrayal from the one boy whom she loved. Ayesha swallowed hard and said in a sharp voice.
“From now onwards, we won’t talk about this. Sara, you won’t be seeing this boy again and I’ll make sure of it. That is my order. Oh, and you’re grounded for the next three weeks.” She told this to her daughter before slamming the door on her way out.
It was for Sara’s own good. If only she had listened to her mother instead of acting upon what her heart desired. If only.
But Sara, being the hard-headed girl that she was, refused to break up with her current boyfriend. She continued to see him, date him and make love to him despite her mother’s warnings. And there was this fear of letting go too. Sara feared that if she broke up with him, she’d be left alone. That fear encompassed her heart when Sara’s father left for grocery store one morning and never came back. He now lives in another country with his new wife and children, happy.
That’s one thing Sara craved all her life, happiness.
And she found it in Adil. Her solace. Her muse. Her happiness.
One morning Sara decided to surprise Adil by going over to his house uninvited as his parents wouldn’t be home for the entire weekend. She wore his favorite lace bra underneath a matching outfit. Ready to seduce her lover, she headed out the door telling her mother that she was going out to the library and won’t be back until eight o clock at night. Upon reaching Adil’s home, she unlocked the door using the spare housekey he had given her. She made her way to his bedroom but stood still upon hearing a giggle followed by sounds of soft breathing and moans. With a fear clenched heart, she went to the living room and what she saw there surprised her, broke her, shook her and scarred her for the rest of her life. Adil sat in an intimate position with one of the girls he’d introduced to Sara a few months ago as a friend. Sara felt sick to her stomach. Upon realizing that he wasn’t alone anymore and seeing a shocked and hurt expression on Sara’s face, Adil quickly got off the sofa and said: “Honey, it’s not what you think!”
Sara wasn’t ready to hear a single word he had to say. After that incident, Adil bombarded her phone with text messages of sugar-coated words and phone calls saying how sorry he was for breaking her heart. He told every word that she wanted to hear. Sara gave in. She forgave him. She thought to herself “It was just a mistake. It didn’t mean anything to him. He loves me and only me. That girl was the one to blame. He did it once he’ll never do it again. He’s sorry.” Little did Sara know, she was going to commit a mistake majority of girls do thinking that their love would stir a man’s loyalty and keep him satisfied with only you, physically and emotionally. A man who wants to be loyal would be, it’s as simple as that. You wouldn’t have to do anything to make him yours. He already would be all yours.
// Epiphany of reality, happiness and life //
Months had gone by. Leaves fell from long and old trees. Long winter nights had become too lonely and too familiar for Sara. She lived every day of her life on eggshells always wondering if Adil was out there cheating on her. Then one night it happened, the thing she feared the most. Sara opened her facebook account and while browsing through her timeline, a friend of Adil had tagged him on a video of him kissing a redhead at a party. It happened again.
This time she saw him. But, how many times had he done it behind her back and she never found out? How many times had he fooled her?
Sara sat at the bathroom floor hugging her knees, crying, wailing, screaming and letting it all out. All of those month’s anger. She needed to let out these tears in order to move on from all of her past mistakes. And Adil was one of them. She wasn’t a weak person. Sara very rarely gave up on the things she cared about from the bottom of her heart. But Adil? She waited. God knows how long she waited. But every strong person has his breaking point. She had enough of lies, manipulation and being betrayed. It was time to start a new beginning. And it was at that moment Sara realized, no one was going to save her. Not even the father who had abandoned her, nor the single mother who raised her and definitely not the boy who claimed to love her but did nothing but broke her.
Sending a “We’re done, don’t ever call me or try to reach me again it’s over” message to Adil, she blocked his numbers and threw away her sim card.
It was half-past six and the blue sky was now turning lilac-colored and slightly red. Sara walked into her mother’s study room and saw her frail body sitting comfortably on a leather couch by the large window as she read her favorite poems by Rumi. Sara went towards her slowly, sat down beside her on the floor and placed her head on Ayesha’s lap. Ayesha was caught by surprise but did not say anything so as not to disturb her daughter. After a long moment of silence, Ayesha finally said: “You were twelve years old when we’d sit together reading princess stories all the while watching the sun setting far away in the horizon.” Sara smiled slightly.
“I remember those moments as clear as day. We lived in the countryside far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I remember being awestruck when I experienced a first-ever snowfall and beautifully magnificent snowcapped mountains. Those days were good until…” dad left us.
“Honey look, everyone in this life would disappoint you. In one way or another. No matter how much we love someone or how much someone loves us, they are bound to hurt us in one way or another. It matters if you decide to overlook those factors and forgive them not for the mistakes they committed but for the times they were there for you when no one else was. As for your father, I think I made the right decision letting him go and forgiving him without him asking for an apology. If we’d still be together, him and I, both of us would not have been happy. I’m glad that he’s with someone who brings out the best in him. There are moments when I miss him, because he was the first-ever man that I loved and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love someone as much as I loved him, but I’ve come to term with the fact that perhaps God brought him into my life for these reasons: to teach me how to love, hurt, break, forgive, move on and heal.
Trust me honey, life can be a total bitch sometimes.”
Sara laughed. And she knew for her mother’s story had taught her something very valuable. Something no money could ever buy and that is the wisdom no one could ever teach her.
Sara looked up at her mother with hazy eyes and said “Mom”
“Yes, honey?” Ayesha asked.
“I am sorry.“
“It’s okay.” She patted her daughter’s head lovingly without asking the reason for her apology and neither had Sara told her why she had asked for forgiveness.
But deep down, both of them knew the reason why. Laying there with her head on Ayesha’s lap she whispered hypnotic words of Rumi to that one person she cared about in the whole world, her sweet little daughter, Sara. On that day Sara learned one simple truth about the universe and that was; all her life she worried and stressed, looking for happiness in people, friends, strangers on the street, work, career and in boys. Everything. But nothing seemed to satisfy her lust and crave for that feeling of completion and a sense of purpose for her life. Until this very moment. Where she felt that calmness and serenity of her mother’s presence and love. This is her home, this moment was her forever, this was her true happiness.
Sometimes parents may say things that hurt you. But, they’ve got more experience in life than you. They’ve had all kinds of things happen to them. They’ve met a lot of people. They have a sense of who’s loyal and who is not. They know, which friend or which partner is true to us and whether or not we deserve them.
// Epiphany of reality, happiness and life //
This story is true, so you can’t even say that it’s made up. There are millions of girls like Sara out there who forgive the boys who betray them only on the fear of losing them hoping one day he might change, but they never do. Once a cheater, always a cheater. A person might change if he’s determined but that’s rarely the case. The moral of this story would be, always listen to your parents. They want what’s best for us. They don’t hate us. If someone betrays you once, they’re likely to do it again. Take the first queue and run as far away from them as possible. You don’t deserve this. Don’t ever let anybody play with your feelings.
Epiphany of reality, happiness and life