Dear mother // Eman Khalid

Dear mother // Eman Khalid

Cruel mothers are still mothers,
who teach their daughters,
the harsh reality of life,
at a very young age,
the highs, 
the lows,
the pain,
the ache,
and the abuse.

I would be lying if I said,
I never resented you,
as a sixteen-year-old
I wondered,
why you were always so unhappy,
I realized the reason why,
as my own heart started to dry.

Life became more clear,
as I realized,
why you always warned me,
against that boy, 
I held so dear.

I should’ve listened to you,
when you warned me to be.

Beware of the boys,
with brown eyes,
and deep laughs,
sweet kisses,
and warm hugs.
It’s a drug,
won’t leave you,
so easily,
in the end,
you will be the one,
trying to forget him,
over boxes of cigarettes,
and dried tears.
I should’ve listened to you,
when you warned me back then,
Mom,
I should’ve listened to you.

And now,
here I am,
wondering,
what I can do.

To repay you,
for the things you’ve done,
and the dreams you’ve sacrificed,
just so you could see me, 
become someone.

You once wished to be.

Tell me,
how can I make it up to you,
for breaking your heart,
your trust,
and your promises.

I realized your love for me,
when the whole world was against me,
when a failure they called me,
you wiped my tears.

And whispered,
ever so lightly,
in my ears,
with that song like voice of yours,
it’s not in your blood to give up,
remember whose daughter you are, 
remember who gave birth to you,
remember who you are, 
and don’t ever forget that,
ever.

You carried away my sorrows,
in the palm of your hands,
burying away my fears,
with a kiss on a forehead,
wiping away my tears,
with the softness of your touch,
healing away my every wound,
with the wisdom of your words.

You protected me,
like an armor protects its soldier,
like a tiger protects his tigress,
like a lover protects his beloved,
like a man protects his honor,
like a mother protects her child,
you protected me.

Sometimes I wonder,
what I’d do when you’re gone,
then I think of,
the things you’ve been through,
and how you overcame them,
the people who’ve hurt you,
and how you’ve forgiven them,
the dreams you’ve dreamed,
and how you achieved them,
the things you taught me,
and how I’ll always remember them.

I now know where I get this from;
the blood of a fighter
the resilience to stay patient
in the toughest of days 
the ability to climb
the tallest of mountains
that may come my way

I now know where I get it from,
mom
I get it from you.

no matter how many times I thank god
for sending you into my life
it wouldn’t be enough,
instead
I’d ask him
to protect you under the shade of his blessings 
and may the light of his joys
shower upon you
for the next thousand lifetimes
may you always conquer,
defeat
and win,
may you always inspire, 
aspire,
and achieve,
may you get all of the blessings 
of this world and the world beyond
may you look at me from above the heavens one day
when I am forty 
and smile proudly
at the woman

that I’ve become
a woman like you.

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