Cultivating self ‘How can we practice self love?’ // Noor Fatimah Kashif

Cultivating self ‘How can we practice self love?’ // Noor Fatimah Kashif

Look in the mirror? What does that reflection tells you? Those brown ordinary eyes, The not so different hair again, The not so self-absorbed beauty in the standards of the world. Maybe too skinny or over weight to exist in a society scrutinized and painted through fashion magazines and the IMGs. These horoscopes and Vogues will define you? The mirror won’t tell the untouched idealistic thoughts that reach and filled your brain. 

Did you notice the self-erected image? The scars that left marks on your skin while you were busy painting it up to cover? Have you not yet dived into your own depth, those ordinary brown eyes that define nothing in one’s opinion, but it may, in yours. You face your own self, your own grave, your own fall and rise against the ‘standards’ of the society. Self-love being a necessity, if ever comes to you as a luxury, so be it. Wear your luxury with pride. Show off your raw image, the undone messy hair, the unconcealed blemishes, worn out eyes, the stretch marks that meant your growth, mentally and emotionally because they may end up adding up to aesthetics. Fill the flaws with glitter to yourself and that confidence boosts up your adrenaline and pumps blood through those vessels that ends up defining the word beauty and you are beautiful.

In a road to cultivating one’s self and mind Acceptance is the key. Accept yourself and be confident with that. Leave back all the negativity and toxic positivity because you know that the not so comforting words are on their way to explain you your problems and their self-derivative answers which you are not in a mood to receive. We play moods because we are moods. And we live and flourish with that. We often talk about moods. Go up with your mood when required. Take your time and space. See a therapist. Care for yourself. Have some tea or a big book with yellow pages. Draw or paint, write whatever you want. Because here “you” we see and handle is center of universe and their existence is as important as ‘theories of gravitation’ for Newton. 

Another thing that helps out with the cultivation of new culture is self-compassion that is responsible for the building of self-resilience in the face of adversity, it helps people to recover from a trauma or loss, any failure or embarrassment. Self compassion basically says, ‘Be kind to yourself in the midst of suffering and it will change.’ and adding mindfulness to it boosts up the concept and adds to its meaning describing as opening up oneself to sufferings and with acceptance and spacious awareness it changes the aura.

To become a mindfully trained self-compassionate individual many spiritual practices are adopted by people that are undertaken throughout their routines. They meditate and practice self-harmony and other practices in daily lives. Practicing yoga, meditating through mantras, help numerous individuals in finding their state of peace and tranquility. According to the researchers, practicing these techniques for 40 minutes every day for 8 weeks raised the participants’ levels of self-compassion by 43 percent. One of the easiest exercise that involves just the repeating of sentences to self during any emotional imbalance are;

  • This is a moment of suffering
  • Suffering is a part of life
  • May I be kind to myself

The next step involves listening to yourself and be calm and soft to your inner. We are much critical and harsh about ourselves than others. So how is that in any plus point to us? And how can we except any other person to be any kind to us? So, to replace this harsh inner voice with a kinder one, you can simply notice it -which is already a step toward quietly subduing it- and actively try to soften it.  

There are many other self-compassion boosting techniques and phrases that have been told by Professor Neff in her website ‘’ that have been proved very helpful. It allows access to a wide range of exercises that has been helping a lot lately in the time where youth have been distressed and is looking for a bright corner to the other side of a blind cave. So write to yourself… the future or past, write what you want and need yourself to acknowledge. Accept and love yourself the way you are, the way you look and the way you think. Because that’s unique and you are important no matter what.
Cultivating self ‘How can we practice self love?’ // Noor Fatimah Kashif

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