An open letter to terrified, anxious and troubled me!

Dearest terrified, anxious and troubled me,

Scrolling through my social accounts, I always fancied the open letters on various writing accounts. Those long letters to Harry Potter that will fill just the right size of parchment to impress Snape. Or those rants; feminism, how parents just don’t get or how best friends fall apart. No matter how much I loved to read such emotion-filled unsent letters, I was never to write one. I couldn’t find “just the right topic”.

Even though my study table is full of statuettes of all my favorite characters. And all my favorite quotes are pinned to the soft board at the adjacent wall. I just could never come up with the right words. I am not very expressive, and most of the time, I don’t pay heed to the things. Never did I think I will someday be writing this. But here I am. My pen stopping and reviving every now and then. The page is now full of lines, ticks, and crosses. I don’t believe I am so conscious while writing to my own self. But the thing is I want to give myself a very honest opinion and accurate advice.


I can’t say I now have an unerring sense of handling the situations or I can teach you all the tactics. But, I have been there, walked in your shoes for miles. I know how you are feeling, and I don’t want you to breakdown again as you did. I remember your gloomy face, followed by a frown; your two constant moods.

I have felt your pain, your anxiety. But, you should know an always remember that this is just a phase and you should never let this define you. I know it is hard. I know sticking to the shore is an easier and more convenient way. I know “once the storm passes and the sky clears, the sunbeams fall across your face enlightening your way” is the day you are waiting for. But let me tell you that is not happening. Because those thunders and roars of clouds are none other than your own soul screaming and waiting for help; your own help. Because nobody is that capable of holding your hand and paving the way for you, except you.


So, you don’t have an escape. The dark you are allowing to invade your mind and heart, needs just one ray of hope and courage. And you will see for yourself how quickly it will vanish. I know “happiness” seems just another word of a thick dictionary placed in some dusty shelf, and the thought of peace puts you under the greater burden of restlessness. But, all these second passing by, the tick-tock of the clock that may sound irritating to you, for now, trust me for this one that they are worth it. For no wonder, your hours are grey and insipid.

That you miss that charisma, that aura of thrill and adventure and most importantly that calmness and tranquillity. But, there is no light without the dark, no dawn without dusk. You value the good only when you have tasted bitter. That’s when you make out the difference. That’s when you differentiate between the right and the wrong. Rain is a symbol of love, romance for few but, of tears and misery for others. It is only about the way you want to see it, the way you perceive it. // An open letter to terrified, anxious and troubled me!

So don’t let the air of melancholy surround you for long. Take it as a nice time to teach yourself lessons that will stay with you forever, furnish yourself so that you bloom when finally the sun rises. I now know this for sure, that no matter how long and dark the tunnel is, it is defeated just by one beam of light. Keep this in mind. Happiness is not a time that will one day miraculously arrive; it is not a situation that will somehow occur sooner or later. It is a choice, a choice which is always in your hand. The day you decide you want to be happy is the happiest day of your life. Because whatever it takes to smile and fight the waves, it is all already there in you.


Take it from an experienced person, the steeper the hill is, that means the more issues you have to solve, the higher is your position in the end. So, the more you get to climb, the higher you rise. Always, remember life may not be just as you want it to be, it may have tints and shades you don’t like, but it is worth it. Because altogether, they look aesthetic when they are put up on a canvas. The path may have turns you don’t want to take, but unpredictable can turn out to be incredible. Maybe this fall wasn’t your choice but, to stand up and try again is in your hands. // An open letter to terrified, anxious and troubled me!

To tremble, to slip and fall is not the real problem. But to be there, lying and not make any move is something to worry about. Only, you have the magic to give yourself wings and fly. And only you can clip or hide them. Make a wiser choice. And always remember that the only “always” and “forever” you are going to have is “change”. Change of the circumstances, time, people, and your own self. Be ready to face it. Be ready to fall, fight, and fly. And after every deep ditch you “accidentally” slip into, a greater rise will wait; rise of strength
and courage!

With love,
your experienced, cheerful, and stronger self. (They call it a 2. 0 versions these days by the way)


Dated: Forever
-Zainab Naghman

An open letter to terrified, anxious and troubled me!

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