I am writing this letter to you because you deserve it. It is one of those moments of appreciation that you need for yourself. Do not freak out, I know it is the first time I am documenting a conversation between us but I am sure it is not a bad idea. Despite of whatever the world or others have to say, this is going to be different of all. For now I need you to leave all the chores you are doing and all the thoughts going in your mind. I need you to focus and take a deep breath because this will make you reflect on all the things you might not want to recall. But you have to trust me on this one as I plan to end on a good note and make you feel better.
Here, I know you have been having a tough time every now and then in your life. You were thankful at times and at times you wanted to vanish and hibernate for years. You wouldn’t forget of the chances you took to socialize as much as you can and then of those you isolated yourself to the level you were so closed up in yourself. There were people who remarked your positive energy when you were around people, they would say there would not be a lively gathering if you were not there. Then there were also those who asked you in a middle of a group conversation that even if you speak at all or they would doubt your existence if you were there all the time with them. You see that sounds like two extremes of a situation, but the truth is it was you who were occupied with some stuff in your mind, some harsh realities you were experiencing which effected your behavior at social gatherings a little. That doesn’t make you any less of a person, everyone has baggage. I hear people say that one should never let people judge your mood or what is going on in your personal life by your behavior, they say it is one of a professional behaviors kind. I know you would start questioning yourself right away and ask if you do not know how to be a professional. My dear self, do not think too much, let them say whatever they say and be yourself. Try not to entertain the worst of thoughts in your mind and believe in yourself. I know and you know it too, you never let yourself down in hardest of the times and you stood strong many times when people thought you would fall apart. Expressing emotions and reflecting on your experiences do not mean you are weak, instead they are the evidence that prove you are an empathetic person who knows how to process feelings and emotions.
I can bet you would not have forgotten the difficult circumstances you grew up in given you are a girl who believes in equality yet born in a patriarchal society. You always said that it is a free country yet you feel like a bird in cage. I know you have always been thankful to God for your guardians not being one of those conservative ones and always supported you to grow well and think out of the box. Your loved ones never held you back and let you prosper your dreams, opportunities and achievements in your journey. You are an educated, skillful and beautiful young woman, please never doubt yourself. You have come this far with your head held up high and you are going to flourish even further. Not to mention the societal webs gave you pressure and pulled your authority as they hated your liberal guts but you still managed to defeat them on the days you needed to step forward and live to fullest.
You have come across all kinds of people and I would say life is too short to see all of their kinds, be it the terrible ones or the best ones. Actually it is more like depending on your experiences with people that makes them good or bad. The point is that you do not have to care who is good or bad of a person, it is more important to concentrate on yourself because it is your life you are living not anyone else’s. When we talk about your experiences with people, you have got to not let yourself get too involved that it end up hurting you. Even if it does, getting involved or attached to people in a natural thing and it is not awful all the times. Good and bad experiences, all teach us lessons for life. Those lessons are good for your growth. After all you are a strong woman and you do know when to protect yourself from destructive relations and to let yourself at ease in the good ones. Never judge everyone around you for one bad experience you had with someone troubled themselves out there. See, you need to know that if some treats you harsh, it is their problem to keep their shit straight, and not yours so do not let them hurt you much. You are a sensible person and I am proud of you for all the times you grew distances from people who didn’t do justice to your honesty and for those too who won your trust and kept it safe. Not everyone is worthy of your best. You have to choose who and what to prioritize and I know you do a good job at it. You are a loving, passionate and a caring person, these are the most precious things of all. Do not change just because some didn’t deserve it. Always keep your best traits for the sake of your own well being.
You have always made your loved ones proud and feel amazed on your abilities. Do not bother and never let yourself down for who raise questions and criticize you for being yourself. If you stand out in situations, too bad for them who cannot meet your level and fail to understand your power within yourself. You have your own interests that might not give a chance for everyone to relate to but there would be many who appreciate you for being an independent and a powerful soul. What matters is that you understand yourself well enough that you do not need to rely on validations coming from others. People who genuinely understand you would remember you as a beautiful person. It is okay if some would judge you for being a feminist, they just do not understand what feminism is about. Good thing is that you do know what it means and you still support equality being a feminist. There is nothing bad in standing by yourself and realizing that this world is not perfect of all. Too bad for those who do not support equality in a society, they are so unaware of their own rights to live with. You are lucky that you are educationally sensitized about those odds that exist around you and are willing to bring a change for good and for all.
It is a never ending list to bring forward every detail in one letter but I think this is a fair start of writing to self. Once for all, my dear precious self, you are beautiful just as you are. Do not stress over things that comes by karma, hard times would not be stopped but you will naturally gain the strength to fight them well just as you have been doing in the past. Do not let the negativity of this world consume you but do allow the positive vibes keep coming from all around you. Embrace the beauty on this world and appreciate yourself just as much as you would do others or your loved ones. You are a wise woman who would not kill time for just anything out there, you know your importance and worth well enough to keep a good balance in your life. For all the times you proved the mocking ones wrong, you have made me and your family proud for being yourself. Never let anything hold you back but do let yourself explore more. Dance on the obstacles thrown in your way, you will make it to your dreams and goals alive. Keep rising you incredible woman and do not hesitate breaking the chains!
PS Do not lose this letter because more like this is going to keep coming often now.
Sincerely and with love,