Dear Me,

Have you not grown tired? Aren’t you sick of toxic people sucking the peace out of you? Well here’s what you need to listen. You’ve had your fair share of misery and disruptions whilst you stood there cheering them all when they didn’t feel like it. You, regardless of whatever freaking situation you had, were always their shoulder to cry on. You made yourself available and that is the most humanly possible thing to do for sake of love and care. I know that you’ve not been appreciated enough and that’s totally ok to feel bad about. Because why not? At least they could’ve noticed it. But they didn’t, and even if they did, they were too occupied to do something about it. It’s a hard pill to swallow but now you must.

Take a walk to that mirror you stand in front of every morning. Now, look at yourself. I mean it. LOOK AT YOURSELF. What do you NOT see? Now if you’re too afraid to say it out loud, let me do the honours. You’re now looking at a dull, tired, an almost empty person who’s been drained of positivity, patience, and energy. I see you cringed at my brutally honest explanation of what you’ve allowed them to do with you.

You felt them changing, you argued like it was going to make an impact and with all of that, you let yourself suffer. You lost your peace of mind like it was your battle to fight. Well, guess what? Your hands are still empty and you got nothing. So I want to ask this one tiny little thing; was it all worth it?

Don’t try to justify and explain how these experiences made you strong enough to stand alone and whatsoever. Instead, ask yourself how you’re going to restore every ounce of that energy you have wasted. You’re allowed to help people, it’s humane. This urge to make someone’s life easier is a pretty thing to possess. But my dear fragile self, you’ve done more than enough. And now, it’s time to choose yourself over any of them.

With the end of this December, end this chaos. Prioritize yourself and your peace over theirs. Make your living healthy. Pamper your heart as if it’s the dearest thing you hold. Act as if your mind is a treasure that you cannot waste whilst thinking about unnecessary things and people. Love yourself. Be your own protector. Save yourself from negativity by closing a door or two for your own good. Make them realize that if they can choose, you know how to choose too, and that not every time they can use their hardships as an excuse to hurt you or push you away. Remove that label of ‘option’ you’ve been carrying for so long. It has proved to be a burden on you.

Breathe and let it all go.

With this coming year, set new goals, new standards and let New Year broaden your horizons.

 

With love,

Your damaged younger version.

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