Pakistani men– Anyone can describe the traits of Pakistani men very quickly. They are usually a mama’s boy, a superiority complex that will put God himself to shame, possessive, are not allowed to do any household chores, you can’t speak without their permission, and above all, the most innocent trait, they like Shareef, smarmily and sugghar girls.
Except for these traits, they have a specialty of saying certain things to women and they feel so proud of this. Whether it’s about their career choices, their lifestyle, or anything else. They act like they have the right to say anything to women.
What’s more surprising is that Pakistani men find themselves too accurate to say anything to women based on their mentality and they don’t have any idea how these things trigger women and what are their effects may be.
As a woman, I have come across many such things which I find weird, irritating and annoying at the same time and I can’t tolerate this further.
I’m sure every woman has felt the same and has encountered anything like this in their life.
So, here are the 12 things Pakistani men need to stop saying to women.
Women are ONLY for household chores
Men and women who live under the same roof must have an equal responsibility to maintain it properly by doing household chores which include cleaning, cooking, washing, etc.
still, we hear that women are only for household chores and we have encountered cases of the man beating their wives or sisters for not doing household chores, for not even making a tea.
According to the analysis conducted by the University of London, gender norms remain strong when it comes to household chores.
It is a fact that the majority of the household chores are done by the women, whether she is married or not.
Men and Women should work equally
If we talk about the past, the tradition was that women’s job is to run the house and man’s job was to earn the money but that time has passed.
In today’s modern families, we can find both men and women working and we can see the trend is changing. So, if the working trend is changing then this doing household chore should also change. We should normalize men doing household work.
If one is cooking then the other person needs to wash the utensils or clean the house. you can share the work or you can help in completing the work, you can divide the work, in this way both the men and women can work equally.
It’s your house and you are cleaning it for yourself not for any other person outside of your house and you can do these things for your house, it’s not a big deal.
we have to accept the concept of the man doing the household work or helping their mothers, sisters, or wives. Its the act of compassion and sharing.
It’s just that we have associated the household chores with the women only. How can you expect anyone to do so much of household chores alone with the office work?
I’m talking generally here so that working men and women can both do their work equally giving them the time to rest and care for each other.
It is strongly recommended that young boys should learn some basics of cooking and running the household chores from their mother.
Most importantly, this mentality should be changed that women are only for household chores. No, they are not.
Sharing household chores with siblings and spouses can lead to a happy and successful life.
What’s the point of studying when you’ll just end up getting married?
It is the most common question; women were asked in their college and university life. Pakistani men also joke about it as they feel women can’t do anything other than getting married.
They have the confidence of saying this because its normal in Pakistan. Women get married so soon or they are pressurized for the marriage.
Child marriages, forced marriages are way too common in Pakistan. It’s true that nobody gives much importance to women’s education, all they think about is, marriage. roti banana seekhlo yehi kaam ayega agey, parh Kar Kia krogi, Shadi hogai to parhna khatam, etc these are the usual statements by the people in Pakistan.
Pakistan is the male dominating society that’s why all importance has given to the men only, their education their job is the first priority so they consider women getting an education is useless.
Pakistani men need to understand this
Education is as important to women as its to the men. It’s her right to get an education and to fulfill her dreams, it’s her right to choose whatever she wants to do in her life. you are no one to decide anything for women as she knows what’s better for her or what she deserves.
We have seen many women handling work and home in such a good way. Pakistani men should feel ashamed of asking such a question and before asking any women about what’s the point of studying, ask yourself first, what’s your point, to degrade others, and asking questions like these. Does it prove you to be an educational man?
Pakistani men want their daughter to study and work but not the other man’s daughter. How sad is this? Just for once, stop asking this question and try to put yourself in this situation then you will understand what it feels like when someone asks a question like this.
This should be solely the women’s choice about what to do ahead in life.
Women are emotional fools
Who is an emotional fool?
People who are extremely sensitive and easily let people tread over them.
Pakistani men call women an emotional fool because they got emotional too quickly and always on the edge of crying and anyone can hurt them so easily.
Are you an Emotional fool?
But let me ask a question first, if you lost someone in your life or if you lost your child for some time and you are crying and you are so upset because you love them or your child so much. Does that make you fool?
Men and women both are different and are equally emotionally weak. It’s just that women express themselves and men don’t.
It’s your choice to express or not. So, it’s okay if you are showing your emotions or if you are crying. It’s okay to cry and break down.
Some men choose to cry and some women choose not to cry. This can be the situation as well and this cannot be. So, you can’t judge anyone in expressing their emotions and crying.
We need to normalize it if anyone is crying rather than giving them an emotional fool tag. It’s all about our mentality. You never know how the other person is feeling. Let them cry, let them live their life accordingly and stop saying this thing.
How can a girl drive?
There was a time when we saw just men driving cars and bikes and now the situation is that we see women driving on the roads and still Pakistani men question how can a girl drive?
As if these men are not talking about cars or bikes, they are talking about the airplane but we have seen women pilots, too. Therefore, this question is so absurd.
Pakistani men can drive but women cannot. Why? It’s just because you men consider women weak or you just don’t consider them at all.
And if you see some women driving on the road then you associate women with bad driving and also other stuff that women don’t know how to park, they don’t know how to change lanes, they drive too slow, etc.
So tell me one thing, are Pakistani men born drivers? No, then why can’t they appreciate any women if she’s driving rather than making these statements.
Research shows that women drivers are involved in fewer accidents than men.
This could be because men have more tendency to engage in aggressive and risk-taking behavior.
If that is the case then we should ask men not to drive but have we ever done that? No. because driving is an important skill that is beneficial for everyone especially in emergencies.
So, if any women choose to drive then what’s wrong in it? To drive or not to drive is their decision. Who are men to ask how a girl can drive?
If a man uses his hand and foot to drive then women can also do the same. There’s no rocket science in it.
We all know about public transport in Pakistan and the traffic jams so the people need to learn driving and have their conveyance and that includes women too.
Girls shouldn’t be so loud
We often witnessed Pakistani men saying that girls shouldn’t be so loud, speak softly, why are you always laughing? Why are you being so frank? they have idealized women as shy, soft-spoken, and introvert, but everybody cannot be like this.
What can I do if I’m talkative or if my voice is so loud? It’s my nature and everyone has a different nature. Why this question arises that girls shouldn’t be so loud. My brain couldn’t comprehend the logic behind it.
These remarks seem harmless too many but they are deeply rooted in our country and it affects women when they are shamed and silenced for something so natural.
Why some people are loud?
Some people are inherently loud because of their physical build. They have large larynxes and vocal cords. This is something natural. Normalize women speaking loudly or laughing out loud. Try to accept them as they are.
Also read – Intoxicating Laughter // Minahil Naghman
Mood swings? oh is it that time of the month?
Honestly speaking, I feel terrible when men ask me this question especially during periods and there are some days when they ask you when you are not having your periods. And you just don’t know how to respond to such a question.
Generally, men associate mood swings with periods only. If you are angry or behaving weird, then they will directly hit you with this question. It’s not always the case that women feel or behave like this.
there are many other reasons for mood swings like not getting enough sleep, inadequate diet, seasonal allergies , imbalance of the brain chemicals and they are also common with depression.
If you see a woman irritated, frustrated and if you understood by yourself then there’s no point in asking this question. You should make her feel better, not worse. If a woman wants to share this with you, they will share it.
Girls shouldn’t curse
It might be 2020 but women are still told not to curse or swear. It’s disturbing when women are told that cursing is unattractive or that it’s too masculine because women must look attractive and so musn’t curse but men can curse openly.
We women are often told that it doesn’t suit us to curse and men don’t prefer a woman who uses bad language.
So, to appear attractive and suitable for men, women shouldn’t curse. It’s like holding your tongue when the tongue is in your mouth. You can say anything to anybody.
Studies show that honest and intelligent people curse more that may be why women are cursing more nowadays. Women curse too and it’s time we should consider it normal. It’s a personal choice to say whatever she wants to say.
And it’s also based on the situation you are in because I have never seen anyone cursing in daily life as a hobby. One can curse in times of aggression and frustration. It’s also the way of expression.
So how can you associate cursing just with men and women not? Why do Pakistani men say that girls shouldn’t curse? It’s high time now that these men need to stop saying this to a woman.
Don’t apply too much makeup
We think Pakistani men don’t care about makeup or they don’t know much about makeup but they have done a Ph.D. on how much makeup women should apply.
They can tell you the exact amount which they like and they will ask you to don’t apply too much makeup as we women are doing makeup for men, for them to examine us and to give remarks.
Every Pakistani man thinks that a lot of makeup can actually make a woman look worse and they say proudly to a woman that makeup doesn’t suit you or I like girls without makeup.
Pakistani men just want women to live according to them and their principles. Studies show that men like a woman who wears less makeup.
It’s sad to see men commenting on women’s makeup like this. As for women, makeup is a huge part of their daily life and they feel confident in doing it.
Everybody wants to look beautiful and there are beauty products for women to use and to have fun with. If a woman is having fun with this just little thig then what’s the harm in it?
It’s okay if a man doesn’t like your makeup, if a woman likes it she can go with it and can rock it
You can’t go out at night
Pakistani men have decided day time for women’s and night time for themselves.
They consider it inappropriate for women to go out at night but they have full privilege of going out at night and wasting the whole night outside.
We women usually hear men saying that night time is not for you, oh how can you come at night? It’s dangerous for you etc.
But let me ask you a question first, if night time is dangerous for women then why not for men?
Men and women both are human beings and they both can get hurt or they can face an accident. then why it’s linked to women only?
I can’t understand this. If any women want to go out at night and if her family is with her or if her family has allowed her to go then what’s the big deal in it? Who are you to say no?
There are people who like to go out at night and have fun and there are people who consider it not to go out at night. Both situations are fine. It’s their choice, it’s their personal right to decide.
We are living in a male dominating society where we women can’t decide for us when to go outside. It’s the Pakistani men who will decide everything for us.
They want us to feel insecure, uncomfortable at night and they want us to realize this thing that they want men by their side to protect them at night as night time is dangerous for women. Which is wrong.
Going out at night is not a bad thing, the bad stuff is in the minds of Pakistani men.
Therefore, we should normalize it. If a woman wants to go out at night then do support her and be with her mentally not torturing like this. This needs to be changed.
You have a mustache
Women always get teased about their facial hair which makes them very self-conscious that they had to hide their faces or remove the hair immediately so no one can notice their facial hair.
Pakistani men don’t have the slightest idea that this can lower a woman’s self-esteem.
Because men always prefer no hair so when they notice any hair on your face, they immediately ask you this question, making you feel embarrassed.
Imagine how one feels when you have to feel embarrassment on your facial hair which is so normal and natural.
The hair on both men and women’s bodies is natural and it’s up to them to remove or not as we know the man doesn’t care to remove it.
Excessive or unwanted hair that grows on a woman’s body and face is the result of a condition called hirsutism
So, if you see a woman with excess body hair then you should know that this happens due to a condition, it’s not their fault or choice to have so much hair or not.
The presence of excess hair can lead to the feeling of self-consciousness but this isn’t dangerous and there’s no shame in it.
We should normalize seeing facial hair on a woman’s body or face rather than saying that you have a mustache. This needs to be stopped.
How can you smoke being a girl?
Okay? Let me begin this point with a disclaimer; smoking is injurious to health; I’m not supporting smoking here nor encouraging you to smoke. but I don’t get this thing that why women are not allowed to smoke? And why smoking is just for man?
Honestly, I have never seen a photo of women’s mouth cancer on the packet of cigarettes as there is a picture of a man.
And we have never seen any man ignoring smoking on the basis of this so why can’t women smoke?
anyways the topic is not about the picture but about the topic of smoking that smoking is injurious to both men and women. So, there’s nothing to be shocked about it if you see a woman smoking.
I can tell you this there can be more percentage because women can’t smoke openly so they always choose to hide and smoke.
Smoking has nothing to do with the religion or gender.
Because if anyone sees women smoking, they will consider her characterless, shameless and above all the question arises, is she even a Muslim?
Why this question doesn’t arise in men’s situation? They are Muslims too and they are smoking too.
How long would it take us to understand that smoking has nothing to do with the religion or with gender. Anyone can smoke from anywhere.
If a woman wants to smoke then she can smoke and she is responsible for her health. You are no one to judger her on the basis of smoking.
Smoking looks unsuitable with women but men look classy while smoking. This is hypocrisy actually.
If you are aware that smoking is dangerous then it is dangerous for both men and women.
How silly is to think that smoking can’t do anything to men or smoking kills men’s lungs but women’s characters. How can you associate women’s character with smoking?
So, this mentality should be changed that how can you smoke being a girl? Remember, we all are human first. We can get ill and can die too, it’s not the women only. So, if a woman chooses to smoke then you are no one to pass a character certificate for it.
What do you do at home?
This is the most frustrating question Pakistani men can ask – what do you do at home?
Like seriously bro, I need to do something to stay at home or I can’t stay carefree,
or is that you are asking for me to make a list of things I do at home so that you will consider the amount of work I do at home.
Otherwise, you don’t consider my work as work? A woman knows the amount of workload she has in her home but still, men say that what do you do at home?
It can be like this that women need to shoot a vlog to prove that this is the work I’m doing at home.
So, if you can’t see it or appreciate it then you don’t have the right to say anything about this. This needs to be stopped.
Share these 12 things if you agree with me and if you want Pakistani men to stop.